How much would it suck to be labeled as the WORST ACTOR?

Once in a while, I receive emails from Fandango.  I have never used their service, but they have no issues sending me  stuff. I have never checked out their messages but today the subject was “Top List of Worst Actors”.

"OH GOD!" I thought to myself.  I would hate to be on that list.  I wonder who is?  

The email didn’t have this list in it, but it did have a link and I followed it like the good little gossip trash magazine reading wench that I secretly am.

The blog ended up being a list of the Worst Romantic Comedy Actors.  Sarah Jessica Parker and Ashton Kutcher were at the top of the list.  

I chuckled to myself because they don’t care they’re on this list.  They’re swimming in their bathtub full of benjamins from all the money their romantic comedies made.  The only way that those movies made money was because people paid money to see them.

I admit that when I was living at home, my Mom would drag me to rom com after rom com after rom com.  I would always, ALWAYS be a brat about it, too.  

"I’m 21 and don’t want to go to this chick flick! Wahh!" And then kick and scream on the floor while pooping in my diaper.

But always, ALWAYS after we left the theatre, I would have a smile on my face because watching these Romantic Comedies gives me this silly, idealistic renewal of what I believe my relationships should be- happily ever after.  I want the two leads to get together!  Though because I am single, I am dissatisfied if they do, and then REALLY dissatisfied if they don’t because, of course, I want to believe.

Don’t get me going about story lines and circumstances which bring these two weary travelers together.  She wrote her number on a dollar bill and then didn’t give it to him? Poetic?  Or is she crazy?!  That’s Lloyd Dobbler!  Hell, get on a plane with him and go to England right this minute!  HOW UNREALISTIC!  And how wonderful… *swoon.

Romantic Comedies are like Harlequin novels that take place in our very own town, or one close by (Alabama and Minnesota, totes for your recent achievements), with real men that we can never seem to find (looking at you, Gerard Butler) and with bodies not necessarily front cover material.

But even with the hot sculptures that encapulate real life emotion on the screen before me, I know what it feels like to be searching for someone to go through life with.  I know the feeling of “This is the life I dreamed of living… why do I feel like I’m missing something?”  And then there’s the “Whoa!  I can share trash duties with someone else who will also take me out on dates and feed me chocolate once he washes his hands?”  So many perks to putting yourself through the emotional turmoil that is a romantic comedy to getting to the good part- the part where you ride off into that corny sunset together.  That’s what I’m waiting for.  And that’s why I enjoy Romantic Comedies.

I’m a sucker for corn.

Cassie Soliday